2 days in Rotovegas. Oh, yeah.

Everybody raves about the place, but you never really know just how good the riding is until you're actually pelting down the pumice, gibbering with glee. Until you've made it to the top of the mountain and sampled the best stuff, the ones that are worth chucking your bike on a plane for, even for just two days of riding.

A good friend of mine in Auckland was having his 50th birthday and sent out the invite to all and sundry. At the last minute I made a snap decision to go over and managed to talk another mate into coming as well.

Air NZ, $500 return including insurance. Packed the bikes into regular cardboard bike boxes, and checked them in as our allotted 23kg bag. Front wheel, pedals, seat and bars off; spacers in the drop-outs and between the brake pads; shoes, tools, bladderpack, helmet and first aid kit in the box: exactly 23kg. Carry on a bag of clothes. Too easy.

I was justified in giving the bike and shoes a good clean before packing them, as they opened the box at the other end to check. They asked me about gas cartridges, too. I didn't bother deflating the shocks, as the difference in air pressure is not enough to worry about, but I had to let the tyres down to fit everything into the box.

We got in late Friday night and Roger was there with a trailer to pick us and the bikes up.

It started raining the next day. We went for a birthday ride anyway, along the coast and up into the Maraetai Pine Forest. The Pohutukawa Coast Bike Club have build some gnarley trails up there in the pines, with tree-rooted, off-camber corners and lots of timberwork. It was slippery, muddy and mostly messy, but it was enjoyable enough.

Sunday arvo we packed the bikes into the trailer and drove down the coast road to Rotorua in the bright sunshine. We were damn lucky with the weather, as the trails in Rotorua drain quickly and we had perfect riding conditions.

We stayed the first night in an average 3BR motel room for $115. It wasn't that far from the big lake either, so the sulphur stench really got to me that first night. Sunday night and Rotovegas was a ghost town. We had a feed and a few beers at the Lone Star, and we were pretty much the only ones there.

We packed up the next morning to move motels, and then drove out to the Whakarewarewa forest, which took about 5 minutes. We parked at the Redwoods info centre and bought one of their nifty map hankies (known as a "mankie"). Then we saddled up the bikes and headed up the hill looking for our first trail.

With over 60 trails varying between 200m and 4km, it's all about how you link them up to get the most out of your time, and to minimise the climbing. It pays to do a bit of research before you go, and have a couple of plans for link-ups so you don't ride around like a mad thing, frothing at the mouth and hitting everything you see, only to end up completely knackered and missing out on all the best stuff.

The trails are graded either green (easy), red (intermediate), blue (advanced) or black (experienced). We chose to start by linking up a bunch of reds lower down, slowly making out way up the mountain, then do the grind up the hill to the top trails that everyone raves about.

We started on A Trail into Tickler (both so-so), then Bunny Jugs 1 & 2 (both very good), then ground our way up the bloody Hill Rd for miles, then turned into Frontal Lobotomy which is a pretty little green climb up through the pines and completes the ascent up to the shuttle drop off point. The shuttle only runs on weekends and Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, so being Monday, it was going to be leg power all day.

At the shuttle drop-off point you've got half a dozen black runs (all part of the National Downhill), and you've got Huckleberry Hound, a red run.

Up to that point, we'd done some reasonable trails and a shit-load of climbing, and I was quietly frightened that Whaka might actually be a bit over-rated. I mean I hadn't wet my pants yet, so where was all the good stuff lurking?

Answer: right in front of me. Huckleberry Hound, for one. Man oh man, did it deliver. I was cackling my head off within 15 seconds. Rollers, berms, hucks, perfectly smooth, grippy trail and all downhill for one kilometre. And when you finish that, you roll straight into Corners, another red run filled with 2.5km of gravity-fuelled, railable, bermed goodness, so many corners you almost get sick of them.
Mind-blowing stuff. Now THAT's what I flew across the ditch for.

Corners spits you out at the high shuttle pick-up point, and that is what I call intelligent design. I'd shuttle that puppy all day if there weren't so many other trails to have a crack at.

So we linked a few more undulating trails beside the Pipeline track (Chop Suey, Spring Roll, Sweet & Sour) back to the start of Be Rude Not To. This track has an amazing reputation, but while I thought it was terrific, there were others that I'd rate much higher. To start with, the top half has been logged, and you ride through a desolate wasteland of smashed up pines and bare dirt. The second thing is it takes some hard peddling to get the most out of the ride, and the flow is best when you're cranking through at high speeds. By the time we got to it, we were pretty knackered. The second half of Be Rude is in the pine forest, and was far more enjoyable. After Be Rude, we flew straight into Mad If You Don't, which is another brilliant red run, even better than it's highly-rated sibling.

We were pretty wrecked after that, so we limped into Planet Bike on the Waipa Bypass Rd for a coffee, and had a good chat with the guys there who graciously plied us with chocolate and lollies. Much appreciated. Then we crawled along to the MTB car park, and bought a late lunch.

Even after a feed, we didn't have much left in the tank, so we decided to hit up a few trails in the inner core network and then call it a day. We did Tahi, half of Creek, Genesis, and then finished on the fantastic Exit/Ndo track. What a way to finish. That trail is a cracker.

We checked into our new, fancier motel (4 BR, $165), had a shower and a few cold beers. Later on we dropped into the Pig and Whistle for dinner and a few more pints before having an early night. We'd managed 31km, with 900m climbing. I was pretty cooked.

Tuesday was shuttle day, so we mapped out another lower link-up for the morning, and planned to have a couple of hours rest after lunch before catching the shuttle in the afternoon.

We climbed up the gentle fire-trail to give Be Rude another go with fresh legs. It was much better. We took the alternate exit and up into Lion Trail, a gentle climbing green, then did Turkish Delight (red) and Grinder, a raw, crazy blue that we got pretty lost on. Next, we finished Creek, which is a long, insanely twisty, flat cruise through a lovely pine forest. Then we discovered Dragon's Tail, a little ripper of a trail, one of my favourites, that we linked into Mad If You Don't for a great finish to the morning.

During the week, the shuttle is mostly for locals, so it only starts at 5:30, after knock-off time, and keeps running until dark. At this time of year, the last lift is around 7:30. Some people get half-a-dozen shuttles in, but we planned for 2. A ride is $10, but you can buy a 6-ride pass for $40, and you can use for any number of people, so that's what we did.

The bus was packed that afternoon. It starts at the MTB car park (where you get your ticket), and takes you to the top of the downhill runs. After that, it shuttles between the bottom and the top of the downhill tracks. We started a bit late, so by the time we got to the drop-off point it was after 6. Half-way up, the old bus dropped a leaf spring. The driver said he'd go and find another bus, but it wasn't guaranteed we'd get another lift that day.

After we got off the bus, we rode a further 5 mins up to the start of our trail of choice, Billy T, which is a blue. But as we stopped at the trail head, some locals ground past us and convinced us to keep going up the fire trail to the very top, where the newly opened Te Tihi of Tawa was waiting. A raw track through native forest, this trail was full of off-camber turns and matted with tree roots. I think we were sand-bagged, and the locals just wanted more wheels on the track to bed it in.

We popped out onto the last half of Billy T, and it was like chalk and cheese. Back to wide, hard-packed, flowing goodness. Right near the end, there was a group of local riders stopped at the top of a bank. "Huck it!" they yelled as I rolled up. I stuck my nose over to take a look. "You've got to be kidding." It looked about 7m high and just off 90 degrees, with a smooth roll-out at the bottom. The problem was there was a large gap in the track about a third of the way down. Stick your front wheel in that and you'd be toast. Then one of the locals showed us how it was done. He took a run-up, manualed, then pre-jumped into it. Very impressive, but out of my league by a long shot. But I rolled it after watching another bloke do the same. It wasn't bad at all, much easier than it looked, you've just got to hop over the hole as you're flying down the slope, almost vertical. Scared the shit out of me. There's an awesome step-up gap jump that takes you up the other bank, but gaps aren't my thing, so I chickened out of that.

From Billy T, we cruised along the Moerangi and Loop Rds to the start of the best trail sequence in the network, Split Enz, Pondy DH, Pondy New, RollerCoaster. Bloody sensational. Split Enz is built on a steeper side-slope to the others, so you get a real sense of altitude as you whip down this 2.3km downhill beauty. If you only do one run in the park, do this link-up.

We'd met Marty, a local, at the start of Split Enz, and he convinced us to ride over and do Challenge. Challenge is similar to the first half of Be Rude, in that it's wide, bermed and flowy through newly logged terrain, but in parts it's much faster and needs no pedalling. It was just like a high-speed pump track.

We revisited Dragon's Tail into the last half of Be Rude, then rode over to finish the day on another track recommended by Marty. Dipper is a green beginner's trail that is normally teemed with newbies, but just on dusk we had it to ourselves. This track is a perfectly groomed flow track. Dips, table-tops and the biggest, smoothest berms I've ever railed. A real marvel of construction.

And with that, the sun left us and we were done. We didn't get to use the other three shuttle trips, but we gave it to Marty to use.

Even though we caught a lift to the top of the mountain we still clocked up 41km and 850m of climbing. I was completely shattered. I highly recommend getting fit before going over, so you can really get the most out of your day and not collapse in a dribbling heap at the end of it.

We had another early night, and headed back to Auckland around lunch time the next day. We could easily have done a few more trails in the morning, but I didn't have it in me. If I was going to spend a week there, I would definitely factor in a few rest days. We did a lot of riding, but we didn't even get to half the trails in Whaka. Then there's Taupo just down the road...

We had to go through the hassle of cleaning, disassembling and packing the bikes again, but it's well worth bringing your own bike over. You can hire bikes from lots of places, but the rates vary from $130-$160/day for a decent duallie, and the best deal I could find was a GT Sensor for $100/day for a 6-day hire. Bring your own bike over and pay nothing.

My trail picks, in rough order: Split Enz, Huckleberry Hound, Dragon's Tail, Corners, Mad If You Don't, Billy T, Be Rude Not To, Exit/NDO, Pondy New, RollerCoaster, Dipper, Challenge, Creek.

Now you've just got to link 'em up.

I'll be back to do just that. It would be rude not to.